A Certain Level of Unprofessionalism XII

VFW Bartending If you have recently become a fan of The Opiate, thank you. If you are already a fan, thank you for your continued support. After a spell of absenteeism from here, I have come back thirty pounds lighter and with a new fervor for posting obscene shit. My divorce has gone through, officially,…

The Mayans Became Mayonnaise and I Like Miracle Whip

We’ve survived, apparently, but I use that term loosely. Much like the Y2K thing in 2000, another apocalypse reaches EPIC FAIL and APOCALYPTIC FAIL would be a better name for it. So the Mayan bullshit has passed, rather, the idiocy behind the prediction of the apocalypse because of the Mayan calendar can swarm around the…

Fence Posts

Before I get into the following post, I’d like to thank those of you who have been fans, friends and family. At the beginning of the summer, I thought the forthcoming days would be difficult, to say the least, but all of you, with your love and enthusiasm, showed me that all I needed to…

A Certain Level of Unprofessionalism I

Gofer July 2007 – September 2007 Ladies and gentlemen, We have come to the beginning of the ACLU series, which, to many of you, seems like the end and are probably very happy. It’s been quite a long time, and you can have my apologies if you find them. They’ve been misplaced for some time…

A Certain Level of Unprofessionalism II

Server Kennebunkport, Maine September 2007 – December 2007 I’d never wanted to wait tables, but I was pretty desperate, and the money was supposed to be pretty good, which it was most nights, except for the douchebags who ran me ragged and tipped less than fifteen percent. Oh, by the way, Oprah’s comment about tipping ten percent because…